Michigan State Is An Absolute Joke (and so is Drew Stanton)

I wasn't even planning on writing anything tonight. I'm tired as hell and was planning to go to sleep right after the game. In fact I almost dozed off early in the fourth quarter. But I was just bursting at the seams to get some thoughts out on this debacle. As much enjoyment as I get out of MSU's failures, my excitement was tempered a bit by the fact that I really hate Notre Dame. Notre Dame continuing to win makes UM's victory look better, but aside from that, there really are no other benefits to them winning. Thanks to MSU choking, last week's ass-kicking at the hands of Michigan is a distant memory and we're once again going to have to listen to how great Notre Dame is, how great and gutty of a coach Charlie Weis is, how great and gutty of a QB Brady Quinn is, etc. It's nauseating. I would have loved to see this team limp back to South Bend with a 1-2 record after another ass-kicking. But no, State couldn't let that happen. Charlie Weis was on his way to becoming Tyrone Willingham v2.0 and now he's probably headed to another BCS bowl. Thanks, Spartans, thanks alot.

How is it humanly possible for one team to choke so much? How is possible to blow multiple double-digit leads in a single game? But was anyone actually surprised by what happened tonight? Anyone who is a State fan or follows them at all saw this coming. We've all seen it before. It was the same old story: MSU gets big lead, everybody's pumped, MSU fails to put opponent away, opponent starts to come back, MSU gets conservative, starts shooting itself in the foot, John L. Smith gets that worried look, assholes pucker, opponent takes lead and wins, Spartans walk around in a daze. And regardless of how jubilant they may have seemed, I guarantee that even with a 17-point lead, State fans were worried while being haunted by their PTSD flashbacks of the 2004 Michigan game. I know how they think and how they've been conditioned to expect failure and excruciating heartbreak no matter how positive the outlook. Once again, their worst fears were realized. Once again, a chance for a defining victory came crashing down in the most embarrasing and gutwrenching fashion, on national TV, no less.

The 2004 game was bad, but that was just Braylon Edwards basically taking over the game. He was a pro reciever playing college football, a man against boys. Nobody on State belonged on the same field as him. But tonight, there was no singular, man-amongst-boys performance. Michigan State just flat-out choked. Notre Dame got the winning points on a DEFENSIVE TOUCHDOWN! How does that happen? Your up by four late in the game, deep in your own territory, trying to run the clock out. Having a pass intercepted and then returned for a touchdown is pretty much the worst-case scenario. And as we've seen before with State, the worst-case scenario is what happened. Just run the ball there, maybe one of your little spread -option plays. If you have to punt, you punt. At least make Notre Dame earn the win. But no, MSU gift-wrapped it for them. And how fitting was it that the game ended the way it did, with that crazy pinball-like interception to end the game?

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that there is no worse fate that being an MSU football fan. Being a Lions fan blows, but they never blow big leads because they hardly ever get big leads. At least with the Lions, you know you're always going to get crap. There's no illusions. Spartan football, on the other hand, teases and tantalizes their fans only to rip their hearts out and take a huge dump on them. I'm thankful for alot of things, and one of them is that I was raised a UM football. Sure, being a fan of Michigan has had it share of heartbreakers, but if I had to go through what State football fans go through, I'm not sure I could do it. I don't think I'm emotionally equipped to handle it. By this point, I'd be holed up in a Buddhist monastery somwhere like Andrew Black after getting sucked out on by Stu Ungar (poker reference, sorry).

As far as Stanton goes, maybe people will finally realize he just ain't that good. I LMAO'd when I heard people saying he could be a first round pick. First round pick? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Give me a break. He doesn't have an incredibly strong or accurate arm, he's not especially athletic (at least not NFL-athletic) and he pisses down his leg in big games. He had three key turnovers down the stretch, THREE! That should never happen when you're protecting a lead. I must admit though, the one postitive to come out of this game was seeing him wander off that field tonight in shock. I love seeing him fail. He's an overrated, whiny, petulant baby consumed by an inferiority complex-based hatred of all things UM. Tearing the Desmond Howard cover off NCAA 2006, Whining in SI that UM fans were cheering when he got hurt. I was in that student section that day, and I can tell you that no one was cheering because he got hurt, they were cheering because of the play. So slander UM fans all you want, but we'll all be laughing when you fail as an NFL QB, you piece of crap. You'll make a hell of a gunner, though.